Review: Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell Conviction

To start off, I played this on the Xbox 360 before and beat it. The console version was great (looking over the horrible network issues it has), and the PC version is just as good, HOWEVER: the campaign is littered with mouth sync issues, the invasive DRM makes the game take FOREVER to start-up, audio settings are not as good as the consoles (it’s either can hear them kinda or not at all), the visuals are par with the 360.

IF YOU ARE A VETERAN OF SPLINTER CELL GAMES: This game plays quite a bit differently than previous titles. There is more focus on eliminating all the guards rather than a focus on stealth. Stealth elements are there, but it is nowhere near the same degree as the original Splinter Cell game.

That said, this is definitely a game you should play. It is much easier to get into than previous Splinter Cell games. This is also not a game for children. Violence-wise, this is on the level of a Jason Bourne movie. The key turn off is the amount of language, with the majority of it being rather vulgar.

The story is decent, it’s not to the level of BioWare writing, but it keeps the game going. The locations are fairly large and expansive, which is nice. There are plenty of places to hide in the level, which allows for a fair amount of stealth. I’ve read other reviews that nagged on the combat, but I found no problem with it.

However, the prompts for actions are incredibly small and picky. For example, during one part of the game you are underground and have to crawl on a pipe in order to stealthily get over to the next room. Unfortunately, the pipe intersects with other pipes, so pressing A will either get you to jump over the guard rail (where a million guards are standing, talking about some stupid plans and how “IF I SEE FISHER I’MMA GONNA KILL HIM”) or hop onto the exact pipe you don’t want to be on.

These events happen more than once in the game, though it really does add to the suspense when the game makes you do the direct opposite of what you intended to do.

But even so, this game is a lot of fun and I would definitely recommend it.

Verdict: BUY

Review: Beat Hazard

Beat Hazard is a fun game, I won’t deny that. But do note that the music analysis system isn’t as in-depth (detecting beat or tempo) or accurate as you would expect. Your bullets are completely powered by your music, so if you have a song that isn’t very intense, good luck completing the level.

It is very difficult to keep track of your ship. Asteroids (when they explode), cause a bunch more asteroids, just to make it more difficult to see anything. Firing at them can produce points, but really, it’s not worth it. The bosses have moves that make it hard to see when they are firing (for example, they can fire this one pixel thick laser that kills you instantly if it hits your ship). The backgrounds change color making it hard to figure out who is firing at who.

Basically, the gameplay is challenging, in a bad way. Music only really affects the power of your ship but nothing else. This is a game you do not play for hours with, this is a game you play a small session just to fight off boredom or something.

However, should you get this game, I highly advise you also purchase the iTunes DLC (should you use iTunes).

Verdict: It depends on your love of music games, but all in all, PASS

Review: Metro 2033

Want to play a less buggy version of S.T.A.L.K.E.R.? Well, here you go. Metro 2033 is pretty much S.T.A.L.K.E.R. (post-apoc. FPS simulator) but with no optimization. Good luck running it on an old machine.

Despite how hard it tries to make itself look scary, it really isn’t. This is like playing DOOM 3 with full bloom and the brightness set to max. The enemies just look odd, but they aren’t that frightening.

As for gameplay, you’ll get lost a lot, the compass that comes with your logbook isn’t very accurate. There is practically no HUD whatsoever in order to keep things both realistic and partially frustrating (just a minor detail really). There are quite a few guns but the majority of them just suck, you’ll use your pistol the most.

Storywise, I’m told this is based off of some book. The book is probably meh (or not, some people tell me the book is nothing like the game), just like the stupid story on the loading screen, oh well.

Overall, Metro 2033 is a game with a decent amount of atmosphere but not much else. It’s also not a very long game (about 8 hours at most).

Verdict: PASS

Review: Shattered Horizon

If Shattered Horizon was summed up in only a couple of phrases, they would be: omg, why am I spinning all over the place, awesome I’m in space, die die die, knife fight, why am I losing?, omg I’m the best, BOOM! SPACE HEADSHOT.

Despite its flaws, Shattered Horizon is an interesting experiment. It’s a fun game and really interesting, to say the least. It has a lively community for the most part so you will find people, but those people might be too good. I can’t say if you’ll ever find people in your ranking, but if you do, then great job (you did better than me).

That said, it’s fun experience for what it’s worth. Do note that you need a pretty powerful computer to run it. Also, get it when it is on sale. You’ll enjoy it for a while.

Verdict: BUY

Review: Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

You heard it before, this game has bugs. But I’m gonna give credit to Aspyr, for they’ve pretty much fixed all of the bugs and made this an almost flawless Star Wars experience.

The story is really intriguing and the graphics look fantastic. Characters have depth to them and real backgrounds, which is nice but could have been explored more. SWFU does have additional content when you beat the game, but that content is rather short. Additionally, the game has this habit of making you explore the same planet about 80 gazillion times. There isn’t enough variety in the levels.

All in all, you’ll be paying for a pure single player experience for the main game (which takes about 8 hours to complete) plus 3-4 free DLC mission packs (which aren’t all that terrible). For it’s price, you could do better, but you really should play Force Unleashed in some way if you haven’t already.

Verdict: WEAK BUY

I don’t advise you to buy this unless it is at a really low price (like $15 dollars or less).

Review: [Prototype]

Looking at this game, you’re probably wondering…”Should I buy [Prototype]?”. It depends. Prototype is a basically the definition of a murder simulator. All you do in this game is kill and attempt to hide.

The AI is crap, the locations are meh, you see the same civilian about a billion times in the same area you are in, the missions have barely any variety (other than kill more people and run up a building) and Alex Mercer is so emo it’s not even funny.

So should you get this game? The only thing [Prototype] has that GTA, Saint’s Row, and Just Cause don’t have is extreme gore and constant killing in grotesque ways. If you want something with a bit more depth than that, I would advise you to look somewhere else. Otherwise, welcome to New York, Mr. Mercer.

Verdict: PASS

Review: Plants vs. Zombies

Plants vs. Zombies is a game that I wholly advise you to get. Sure, it is just another tower defense game, but it’s executed in such a way that you’ll find yourself unable to ever get away from it (and this comes from someone who is practically sick of tower defense games).

The music is great, it loops but it’s not annoying and you can very rarely tell if it has restarted or not. PvZ has a TON of humor and great characters. Give it a spin (try the demo even) but I really advise you to just go buy the full game.

Verdict: BUY

Review: Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 2

What can I say? It’s Star Wars. Force Unleashed 2 is the compelling sequel we have all been waiting for. Unfortunately, the PC version isn’t very well done. The graphics are amazing when they aren’t being loaded in for the billionth time so that you see constant texture updates.

The game has a couple of freezing problems every now and then and unless your computer has a decent processor, you should avoid this game like the plague.

That said, TFU2 is a fun game, it’s also incredibly short (about 4-6 hours) and features less content than the first game. But the environments are diverse (finally) and the music is great. However, I missing the in-game cutscenes rather than the prerendered ones we see now.

Is this game worth $40 dollars? No. Wait until it goes under $25. The game is good, but it won’t be on any “Games you missed in 2010″ list.

Verdict: PERHAPS

Review: Altitude

Altitude is a game that tries really really hard to sell itself. But in reality, it needs all the help it can get. If you only look at the screenshots or trailer, you’ll see that the game looks pretty plain.

That’s because it mostly is. There is not a lot of depth to the game. There are a ton of maps and customization options for your plane but that’s about it. The networking is lacking and good luck trying to find a server that isn’t completely full. Altitude is a well polished but lacking game.

However, it’s fantastic for a short game trip or something to kill time quickly. The AI is semi-intelligent and the game itself will last you about 30 minutes before you move on. But the game is cheap and the gameplay is decent, so if you really want a short game, pick up Altitude, otherwise, you can do better (go with Dogfighter).

Verdict: PASS (probably)

Review: Audiosurf

Audiosurf is probably the best audio analysis engine we have. While it doesn’t go in-depth into the track, the reason it wins is because it has GAMEPLAY!

You can tell me all you want about some other software or “game” that can analyze my music, and I’ll follow-up that it probably has little to no gameplay at all.

That said, Audiosurf is a comprehensive community based game. It has an entire music rating system, leaderboards, and new music every week.

I would advise you to pick it up, you’ll have quite a bit of fun with it.

Verdict: BUY

Review: Plain Sight

Very interesting game. Hard to control but the music is amazing. Plain Sight is an odd game. It’s fun, frustrating and bizarre all in one. The main concept is see who can kill themselves the fastest and bring as many others with them.

Basically, it’s robot suicide bombers. Plain Sight is purely online play, but it has a pretty lively community, so don’t fret about not being able to find a game.

All in all, it’s a good game. Should you buy it? I have no idea.

Verdict: PROBABLY?